Accepting the Risk

Do not tell yourself or to anyone that you have loved if you did not experience pain. A wound is a symbol that you have loved and you are strong. It gives you time to know and find yourself. Happy Sunday everyone!

Growing Faith

Yeyyyyy!! Done reading the book of Mitch Albom – Have A Little Faith. I’ve bought this book last year but read it this April 2012. Haha! Busy much! I can say that Mr. Albom for the nth time touched my heart. These past few months, I felt that I have lost faith, but this book gave me a powerful lesson – a lesson that allowed me to find my faith again. This is really a highly recommended book to everyone! Also, do not forget to read his other books – Tuesdays with Morrie, The Five People You Meet in Heaven and For One More Day.

Just want to share few of my favorite wordsssss from the book.

“Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe.”

“That’s what faith is. If they spit in your face, you say it must be raining. But you still come back tomorrow.”

“When you come to the end, that’s where God begins.”

“I’m not as good as I was yesterday, but I’m better than I’m gonna be tomorrow.”

“Never gonna let life’s troubles get you down.”

“Being part of something big while doing something small.”

“Nothing haunts like the things we don’t say.” (Saying Sorry)

“It does no good to be angry or carry grudges. It churns you up inside. It does you more harm than the object of your anger.”

“If two people are communicating well, they have good chance. If they have similar belief system, similar values, they have good chance. Love they should always have but love changes. Love –the infatuation kind- he’s so handsome, she’s so beautiful – that can shrivel. As soon as something goes wrong, that kind of love can fly out of window. True love can enrich itself. It gets tested and grows stronger.”

“I think people expect too much from marriage today. They expect perfection. Every moment should be bliss. That’s TV or movies.. but that is not the human experience. The trick is when things aren’t so great, you don’t junk the whole thing. It’s okay to have an argument. It’s okay that the other nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It’s part of being close to someone. It is a blessing the joy you can get from the other. People forget that. Because the word commitment has lost its meaning. A committed person was someone to be admired. He was loyal and steady. Now a commitment is something you avoid. You don’t want to tie yourself down.

Mitch: And if you don’t commit?

Reb: Your choice. But you miss what’s on the other side.

Mitch: What’s on the other side?

Reb: Ah.. A happiness you cannot find alone.”

“It’s the blending of the different notes that makes the music.. music of believing in something bigger than yourself.”

“You knew me.. you knew that person but you don’t know the person that I’m trying to become.”

“You are not your past.”

“When you give, you get.”

“So many people are in pain – no matter how smart or accomplished – they cry, they yearn, they hurt. But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking, too. Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love and a peaceful heart.

“You’re a man of God too.. Everyone is.”

“We, who are born, are born to die.”

“Why he thinks he became a rabbi?

1.   -    Liked people

2.    -   Loved gentleness

3.     -  Have patience

4.      - Loved teaching

5.       -Determined in faith

6.       -Connects to the past

7.       -To live good, to do good, and to be blessed

Mitch: I didn’t hear God in there.

Reb: (smiles) God was there before number one.”

“With a little faith, people can fix things and they truly can change.”

“I am in love with hope.”

Very nice book. Hopefully, I’ll be given a chance to meet Mr. Albom soooooon! J

Maundy Thursday

at Sta. Rita Parish Church

Feel the fragrance that emanates from Christ. 

-St. Philip

Reflections Within

Yesterday April 2, 2012, we had our recollection at the conference room of our municipal hall. Father Aljhim is the facilitator of the recollection. He started it with a little information about himself then an introductory video entitled “Canvas of Society”. The video was an eye-opener to the society. It focuses on different lives of people who can experience pain and sufferings. The painting is similar to the Last Supper of Jesus with His disciples but this time children were His company. I think the video was available in YouTube. I am not really used to write in every recollection I attended but this time, I don’t know. I think Father Aljhim brought an impact to me that time.

So here are some words from Father Aljhim. I hope you too can reflect with this.

Questions on Sufferings:

*Why do we have to suffer?

*What do we get from all suffering we experience?

* Why is that sometimes the righteous suffers and the wicked prospers?

*Can’t God just remove human sufferings?

                In my own opinion, we need to suffer to be strong and to experience the real meaning of life. With that, we can able to cope up or adapt with things easily whether it is a happy one or sad one. For me, those who suffer are the chosen ones. They are very lucky for they were given a chance to experience suffering. I agree with Father Aljhim when he said that God can remove sufferings, but like I said it is a test, an opportunity, a chance.

*Why did Jesus have to suffer?

                Father Aljhim said that Jesus joined and became one with us in our suffering. When we suffer, we feel alone, but we humans are born to be with someone. We do not need first money but a companion. If we’ll not carry God’s cross, we can’t follow Him. Without it, we cannot follow Christ. Jesus understands us and God knows because He himself experienced being betrayed and being hurt.

                Jesus also gave suffering a new face, this is why the cross is not only a picture of death but of life as well. Remember that there is always grace in pain. There is grace in suffering. Through suffering, there is life in pain. We need to learn how to live on our own. Life is not perfect. We need to be ready in times of disappointments. It increases our tolerance, our resistance.

Two of my favourite quotes Father Aljhim shared to us was “Sacrifice is the best expression of love” and “Only love can make sufferings and pain meaningful and bearable.” Unconditional love was also tackled. Father Aljhim said that unconditional love challenges us to accept those people who hurt us.

I just love attending recollectionssssssss, enough said. :) 

Look how fat I am hahaha!

So this is me when I started to have high dose of steroids. Depressing right? 

recent picture

But now, I learn how to manage it. I didn't stop my steroids. I’m still taking them but look at me now..  The point here is we need not to be depress in every situation that may happen to us. Yes, I've been in disturbed body image stage but I find ways how to surpass that stage. Again, the key is to exercise and eat healthy, right amount of foods.

More Fun in the Philippines

And here we go again. Summer. I’m going to enjoy you now. Please allow me to be with you this time. I know it is not good to be with you but if I’ll limit myself now, I don’t know when will be the next time I’ll enjoy you again. Lupus, please don’t stop me in doing what I love. Please be good to me. Please allow me now. I’ve been good these past few days. I drink my medicines religiously, exercise every morning and I always sleep early. This time it will be your turn to give me a chance. Let me enjoy and experience the fun in the Philippines. J

See You Soon

 One Sunday morning, I met a man with white attire and black pants. He was there, quiet, silent and has flat affect. I don’t know if that is really his attitude but I respected it. At my first sight, my eyes wanted to cry. I wonder if he sees me with those teary eyes. But then he was flat affect. I told him I’m here for him, but then he was flat affect. I told him I forgive him but he remained silent. I thanked him but he didn't answer. I love you I said to him but I don’t know if he hears me. I want to hold him that time, wake him up and I demand answers for those unanswered questions but again I respected his silence. Soon I’m going to see him, meet him afterlife, and hoping by that time I’ll know him personally and sincerely. There are many words unspoken, so many iloveyou’s unsaid. Dad, I hope you can read this blog. This post is for you. Sorry if I’m not with you in time of distress. But please guide me now whenever I take care of the sick people. Please ask God to bless my hands, mind and heart so that I can do my duty as a nurse. Till we see each other again. May you rest in peace. I love you. 

Lights Off

Five minutes before Earth hour ends.. So I was here lying in my bed .. Thinking every single memory about my life without lupus. I have no idea where I got SLE. 100% sure, I’m not a smoker. I may drink alcohol but not always. Milk, fruits and veggies are my best friends. But instead of thinking negative things, I consider lupus as one of the best gifts God gave me. He made me realize that I’m special and I was chosen because He knows I can make it. I’ve been in different situations before, childhood trauma, and heartaches. But because God is with me, I know I can do everything. Lupus is just a simple challenge that I need to take. Never be affected by a simple thing. Instead make every single extraordinary dream come true despite of the illness that we have. Happy lupus life everyone! 

Questions

Someone asked me, “When you hear his name what comes into your mind?” I answered HAPPINESS. He is my happiness in times of sadness, my cure when I feel sick, my strength in times of weakness and of course my love. I tried to protect him because I don’t want him to be involved in my work so this is very unusual that I published something like this. A lupus fighter like me may be an emotional but I’m very much sure of my feelings. I’m deeply in love with the person I met when I was in second year of my college life. We were both silent type of person but as we’ve known each other, there are many discoveries and unrevealed things about ourselves. I considered them as our secrets. It is fun to know him day by day. In every relationship, bad things do happen and no matter how bad it is, we know how to solve them. When can you really know if he is the one? Are there signs? I don’t know. If lupus has no cure, until when can I spend happiness with the one I love? But I do believe that God loves me that He let me feel this kind of feeling – the feeling of being loved and the feeling of being hurt. As I said before, pain reminds me that I’m still alive. There is no reason for giving up. I will live life to the fullest, inspire many people as long as I can so that in the end, I’ll have no regrets. Love is like lupus. There is no cure for it. You have just to believe that there will be always a positive result in every medicine you take. And finding a cure for it is like patiently waiting for one true love. It may not happen now but who knows – maybe tomorrow.