Living Life

TreeDrop

Feels so lucky that I was given a chance to experience a fun adventure like this. Since I don't have work last May 1, met J, Kim and Jessie and decided to go at Subic. Honestly, we do not have any idea where to go. The original plan was to go at Zoobic Safari, but then Kim rejected the said idea. So we ate first at Max's Restaurant at Harbor Point then decided to go at Treetop! We tried the Canopy Ride, Tree Drop and Superman Ride. Everything was so fun and great! Feels like a normal human being. #happykid

Accepting the Risk

Do not tell yourself or to anyone that you have loved if you did not experience pain. A wound is a symbol that you have loved and you are strong. It gives you time to know and find yourself. Happy Sunday everyone!

Growing Faith

Yeyyyyy!! Done reading the book of Mitch Albom – Have A Little Faith. I’ve bought this book last year but read it this April 2012. Haha! Busy much! I can say that Mr. Albom for the nth time touched my heart. These past few months, I felt that I have lost faith, but this book gave me a powerful lesson – a lesson that allowed me to find my faith again. This is really a highly recommended book to everyone! Also, do not forget to read his other books – Tuesdays with Morrie, The Five People You Meet in Heaven and For One More Day.

Just want to share few of my favorite wordsssss from the book.

“Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe.”

“That’s what faith is. If they spit in your face, you say it must be raining. But you still come back tomorrow.”

“When you come to the end, that’s where God begins.”

“I’m not as good as I was yesterday, but I’m better than I’m gonna be tomorrow.”

“Never gonna let life’s troubles get you down.”

“Being part of something big while doing something small.”

“Nothing haunts like the things we don’t say.” (Saying Sorry)

“It does no good to be angry or carry grudges. It churns you up inside. It does you more harm than the object of your anger.”

“If two people are communicating well, they have good chance. If they have similar belief system, similar values, they have good chance. Love they should always have but love changes. Love –the infatuation kind- he’s so handsome, she’s so beautiful – that can shrivel. As soon as something goes wrong, that kind of love can fly out of window. True love can enrich itself. It gets tested and grows stronger.”

“I think people expect too much from marriage today. They expect perfection. Every moment should be bliss. That’s TV or movies.. but that is not the human experience. The trick is when things aren’t so great, you don’t junk the whole thing. It’s okay to have an argument. It’s okay that the other nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It’s part of being close to someone. It is a blessing the joy you can get from the other. People forget that. Because the word commitment has lost its meaning. A committed person was someone to be admired. He was loyal and steady. Now a commitment is something you avoid. You don’t want to tie yourself down.

Mitch: And if you don’t commit?

Reb: Your choice. But you miss what’s on the other side.

Mitch: What’s on the other side?

Reb: Ah.. A happiness you cannot find alone.”

“It’s the blending of the different notes that makes the music.. music of believing in something bigger than yourself.”

“You knew me.. you knew that person but you don’t know the person that I’m trying to become.”

“You are not your past.”

“When you give, you get.”

“So many people are in pain – no matter how smart or accomplished – they cry, they yearn, they hurt. But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking, too. Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love and a peaceful heart.

“You’re a man of God too.. Everyone is.”

“We, who are born, are born to die.”

“Why he thinks he became a rabbi?

1.   -    Liked people

2.    -   Loved gentleness

3.     -  Have patience

4.      - Loved teaching

5.       -Determined in faith

6.       -Connects to the past

7.       -To live good, to do good, and to be blessed

Mitch: I didn’t hear God in there.

Reb: (smiles) God was there before number one.”

“With a little faith, people can fix things and they truly can change.”

“I am in love with hope.”

Very nice book. Hopefully, I’ll be given a chance to meet Mr. Albom soooooon! J

Maundy Thursday

at Sta. Rita Parish Church

Feel the fragrance that emanates from Christ. 

-St. Philip

Reflections Within

Yesterday April 2, 2012, we had our recollection at the conference room of our municipal hall. Father Aljhim is the facilitator of the recollection. He started it with a little information about himself then an introductory video entitled “Canvas of Society”. The video was an eye-opener to the society. It focuses on different lives of people who can experience pain and sufferings. The painting is similar to the Last Supper of Jesus with His disciples but this time children were His company. I think the video was available in YouTube. I am not really used to write in every recollection I attended but this time, I don’t know. I think Father Aljhim brought an impact to me that time.

So here are some words from Father Aljhim. I hope you too can reflect with this.

Questions on Sufferings:

*Why do we have to suffer?

*What do we get from all suffering we experience?

* Why is that sometimes the righteous suffers and the wicked prospers?

*Can’t God just remove human sufferings?

                In my own opinion, we need to suffer to be strong and to experience the real meaning of life. With that, we can able to cope up or adapt with things easily whether it is a happy one or sad one. For me, those who suffer are the chosen ones. They are very lucky for they were given a chance to experience suffering. I agree with Father Aljhim when he said that God can remove sufferings, but like I said it is a test, an opportunity, a chance.

*Why did Jesus have to suffer?

                Father Aljhim said that Jesus joined and became one with us in our suffering. When we suffer, we feel alone, but we humans are born to be with someone. We do not need first money but a companion. If we’ll not carry God’s cross, we can’t follow Him. Without it, we cannot follow Christ. Jesus understands us and God knows because He himself experienced being betrayed and being hurt.

                Jesus also gave suffering a new face, this is why the cross is not only a picture of death but of life as well. Remember that there is always grace in pain. There is grace in suffering. Through suffering, there is life in pain. We need to learn how to live on our own. Life is not perfect. We need to be ready in times of disappointments. It increases our tolerance, our resistance.

Two of my favourite quotes Father Aljhim shared to us was “Sacrifice is the best expression of love” and “Only love can make sufferings and pain meaningful and bearable.” Unconditional love was also tackled. Father Aljhim said that unconditional love challenges us to accept those people who hurt us.

I just love attending recollectionssssssss, enough said. :) 

Look how fat I am hahaha!

So this is me when I started to have high dose of steroids. Depressing right? 

recent picture

But now, I learn how to manage it. I didn't stop my steroids. I’m still taking them but look at me now..  The point here is we need not to be depress in every situation that may happen to us. Yes, I've been in disturbed body image stage but I find ways how to surpass that stage. Again, the key is to exercise and eat healthy, right amount of foods.

More Fun in the Philippines

And here we go again. Summer. I’m going to enjoy you now. Please allow me to be with you this time. I know it is not good to be with you but if I’ll limit myself now, I don’t know when will be the next time I’ll enjoy you again. Lupus, please don’t stop me in doing what I love. Please be good to me. Please allow me now. I’ve been good these past few days. I drink my medicines religiously, exercise every morning and I always sleep early. This time it will be your turn to give me a chance. Let me enjoy and experience the fun in the Philippines. J

See You Soon

 One Sunday morning, I met a man with white attire and black pants. He was there, quiet, silent and has flat affect. I don’t know if that is really his attitude but I respected it. At my first sight, my eyes wanted to cry. I wonder if he sees me with those teary eyes. But then he was flat affect. I told him I’m here for him, but then he was flat affect. I told him I forgive him but he remained silent. I thanked him but he didn't answer. I love you I said to him but I don’t know if he hears me. I want to hold him that time, wake him up and I demand answers for those unanswered questions but again I respected his silence. Soon I’m going to see him, meet him afterlife, and hoping by that time I’ll know him personally and sincerely. There are many words unspoken, so many iloveyou’s unsaid. Dad, I hope you can read this blog. This post is for you. Sorry if I’m not with you in time of distress. But please guide me now whenever I take care of the sick people. Please ask God to bless my hands, mind and heart so that I can do my duty as a nurse. Till we see each other again. May you rest in peace. I love you. 

Lights Off

Five minutes before Earth hour ends.. So I was here lying in my bed .. Thinking every single memory about my life without lupus. I have no idea where I got SLE. 100% sure, I’m not a smoker. I may drink alcohol but not always. Milk, fruits and veggies are my best friends. But instead of thinking negative things, I consider lupus as one of the best gifts God gave me. He made me realize that I’m special and I was chosen because He knows I can make it. I’ve been in different situations before, childhood trauma, and heartaches. But because God is with me, I know I can do everything. Lupus is just a simple challenge that I need to take. Never be affected by a simple thing. Instead make every single extraordinary dream come true despite of the illness that we have. Happy lupus life everyone! 

Questions

Someone asked me, “When you hear his name what comes into your mind?” I answered HAPPINESS. He is my happiness in times of sadness, my cure when I feel sick, my strength in times of weakness and of course my love. I tried to protect him because I don’t want him to be involved in my work so this is very unusual that I published something like this. A lupus fighter like me may be an emotional but I’m very much sure of my feelings. I’m deeply in love with the person I met when I was in second year of my college life. We were both silent type of person but as we’ve known each other, there are many discoveries and unrevealed things about ourselves. I considered them as our secrets. It is fun to know him day by day. In every relationship, bad things do happen and no matter how bad it is, we know how to solve them. When can you really know if he is the one? Are there signs? I don’t know. If lupus has no cure, until when can I spend happiness with the one I love? But I do believe that God loves me that He let me feel this kind of feeling – the feeling of being loved and the feeling of being hurt. As I said before, pain reminds me that I’m still alive. There is no reason for giving up. I will live life to the fullest, inspire many people as long as I can so that in the end, I’ll have no regrets. Love is like lupus. There is no cure for it. You have just to believe that there will be always a positive result in every medicine you take. And finding a cure for it is like patiently waiting for one true love. It may not happen now but who knows – maybe tomorrow.

Getting to Know Me

*I've found this file in my laptop today. So I decided to put it here in happylupuslife blog. I think I wrote this in college. Never mind the wrong grammar :) haha! *  

Having a single-parent type of family does not mean it is already called as incomplete. I live with my mother which I call Ma or Mama in personal. She is a kind of person that knows which is good and which is bad. Her disciplinary actions are just right for my conduct and she performs the role of being a mother and at the same time being a father. She tries her best to raise me up as her only child and hopes that someday I will become one of the successful persons in the whole world.

I was born in Mother of Perpetual Help Hospital and grew up in my grandparents’ house wherein they have a mini store as a source of income of my grandmother. As her grandchild, I was tasked to help her in selling foods which were available in her store. It was in my sixth grade when my mother decided to get her share in our lot and built a house located near the fields. The environment is refreshing in which there are different kinds of trees, plants and flowers surrounding the area.

         My Mom began working in the government for how many years already even when I’m not still in her womb. Because of her work, she needed the help of our neighbor and my other aunties and relatives to take care of me while she is in office. On the other hand, she teaches me about my homeworks and reviews me whenever we have our exams even if she is coming home late at night. I did not grow as her spoiled daughter. I only receive what I deserve. Those things given by my mother were enough. Obviously, my mother is the one making decision in our family. She is the one who settle on or decide about different matters at home and other aspects in life. When talked about decision making, I still consult or rely on my Mom though most of the time I solve problems by myself or with the help of my friends.

          Though I do not have any siblings, I still have my cousins in which I can join their group and have fun with. We have these similarities on the things we like and dislike that’s why we have a special and closed intact relationship. Our whole family meets every Sunday and whenever there are special occasions such as birthdays and thanksgiving celebration.

          In times of stress, I rely on my friends. I can open up my problems with my friends because they know when I’m stressed and they will find a solution so that I would be okay. To name a few, they are my highschool and college friends and the people I’ve met through an online forum courtesy by Lupus Inspired Advocacy(LUISA) wherein I began to experience the love from a social support group teaching me on holding on despite of the illness I have. I have many friends of the same sex wherein they help me whenever I need them, talk to me whether in happy or bad times. I am sure that they love and care for me. I also have friends of the opposite sex and the closest person to me is J who acts as my little father, a brother and a friend.  

          There will be no problem when it comes on helping other people as long as I can. It makes me happy whenever I see others who received my help. It is very nice to hear whenever one person will let you hear his or her sincere “thank you”.

          If I were given the chance to take care of a newborn, I would gladly accept it since I do not have any siblings. Another reason is it is good to see newborns that are smiling on you and talking to you though their words are not fully understood.

          As of now, I cannot live independently since I’m still reliant on my mother. But my mother started to train me and teach me about other things I need to learn because she is always saying that she is already old and she can’t be with me all the time. She emphasizes that I need to develop a good heart and mind and respect should not vanish.

          Whenever I enter a school or university, one thing is for sure, they will think and notice that I’m a silent type of girl but easy to be with. I am frequently shy with my teachers but love to be with my schoolmates and classmates. At the end of every term, I can give happiness to my Mom by simply dedicating to her the awards I got in school years. On the schools I have attended, they taught me and build up my personality as a simple person and as a student.

          To make sure that I made the right decision, I consult other people about it. Sometimes I easily get influenced by environmental and social factors which may lead of having an unstable decision. When faced with problems, I asked Lord’s guidance and have a talk with my friends and special persons in my life. Sometimes, I’m losing my appetite when having problems or I prefer to eat ice cream and other delicious foods in which they can relieve the stress in me. Most of the time, I consider problems as challenging ones. I get excited and at the same time nervous when a new situation would happen. I usually finish projects that I begin but sometimes it takes times before I can finish one. I admit that sometimes I’m losing my patience on working with other things which are difficult but then other things when finish is a great achievement for me and that adds strength to my personality.

          I can describe myself as a silent type of girl but when I’m with my friends I feel comfortable enough that I can’t keep myself talking and talking. I have my plans in the future regarding my career which includes working first here in the Philippines and if ever there would be a chance to work in abroad I would grab the opportunity. 

          Community activities were my passion when I was in younger years. When I started to be in 2^nd year college, I failed to attend a youth group organization which is called Parish Youth Ministry which lead to my decision that I need to drop it and focus to my studies.

As of now, I can see the improvements in our community since our parish priest together with the government and barangay officials were good combination to aim for a goal and that is to improve and transform our place to a beautiful and peaceful place to live in.

          I believe every situation happened to me has a reason behind it. It may be bad or good but still it added something of what I am now. If I was thinking as an immature person, I would think that life is unfair. I did not even experience of having a real father or having a perfect family which consist of a father, mother and their children. But later I’ve realized that God has been good to me always and life is not unfair. Other people think of me as a person with strong personality. Despite of the problems being experience and the life I had, I am here having a positive outlook in life that someday I can surpass all of these and tell myself that I made it. What I really want is to be that someone who can inspire and help many people by serving them and at the same time learning also from them about their life’s experiences. One more thing is to give back to my Mom the love and care she showed me and I know that she deserves that kind of love from me. 

made with LOVE :)

Sourstrips from Candy Corner :)

It is my first time to arrange something like this.  

sencillez de la vida

source: JD's cam

I've been to many places, but Dingalan gave me so many memories to be remembered. It reminds me on how God shows His greatness for the gift of mountains, the clear water, the hospitable Filipinos and the gift of humility. The simplicity of the people there made me realize that we can survive without the latest technologies in the world. With that, we can spend more time for our families, more bonding moments, more communication and stories to tell. What is so amazing here is about the driftwoods. Try to discover different places especially here in the Philippines. 

I bought this necklace somewhere in Manila :)
*symbol of hope*

Butterfly - Traditionally the butterfly represents freedom, transformation and recovery. Also, one of the more common symptoms of Lupus is called a butterfly rash. It is a red rash across the nose and cheeks that resembles a butterfly. That is why the butterfly has become the symbol of hope for Lupus patients.

Source:http://cure4lupus.org/store/index.php?main_page=page&id=153&chapter=2

Volunteerism

If time will allow me, I would love to volunteer in this place. Right now, I can feel weakness. 

Lord, please give me strength and persistence in everything I do. I love you po.