Jacoud's arthropathy

Pictures were taken on the night of September 7, 2011 here in our house. The pictures do not really show the appearance of the Jacoud’s arthropathy since they were just mild in appearance. When symptoms started last December 2008, they are edematous, they swell and red in color. When there is confirmation already that it is Lupus, I started to learn how to manage the symptoms but today I’m confused why the pain keeps coming back despite of the steroids and NSAIDs I’m taking. The pain is so excruciating to the point that I can see myself crying while holding my hand. Good thing, lupus headache is not active to me these days. This pain reminds me when I was in second year college wherein our PE focused on badminton and volleyball. I suffered with the pain when my hand needs to bend and my wrists need to be flexed in order to win the game. In volleyball, my hands suffered from redness – not only from the ball but also from the swelling. Everytime the ball strikes into my hands, I keep the pain inside me and I tried to be strong because I’m playing with others. And for the group to win I need to cooperate and to focus. I cannot excuse myself then because I still don’t know what my diagnosis is. Sometimes, I was assigned to position under the sun which is much contraindicated to a Lupus patient. But how would I know? I never knew Lupus before.

My three doctors advised me to do warm compress or to soak my hands or the painful part in warm water. And yes, it works. It provides temporary relief.

But today, the pain is constant. I can’t bend my wrist. I’m starting to be dependent to the people around me. I can’t open a bottle. I can’t put toothpaste on my toothbrush. I can’t handle heavy objects. I can’t handle the broom properly to sweep the floor in our house. I can’t do the proper way of shampooing the hair, scrubbing my body and I can’t change my clothes easily. When I feel urinating, I can’t pull down my pants or shorts and underwear faster because of the pain. J

My concern now focuses on thinking about my duties and responsibilities as a nurse. How can I perform the right care and interventions to my patients if my hands are in pain? On September 25, I’m attending BLS training from IMET and I keep on praying that hopefully the pain will subside and let my wrists bend without feeling the pain. How can I perform cardiac compressions if it only brings pain to my wrists? I am bothered now because my knees are also in pain. I want to cry.

Lord, thank you for giving me the title of being a registered nurse. You allow me to take care and show Your love to my future patients. May you give me strength and forget the pain I feel. Bless my mind, my heart and my hands in taking care of Your people.